Forget that the Rangers are 13 games over .500. Forget that they have a 4 game lead in the AL West. Forget that two starting pitchers and a reliever turned starter are on the DL. Forget that Josh Hamilton has missed the last three games due to a stomach virus. Forget all that, because the big problem in Arlington is cookies. 

I’m not talking about tossed cookies, which apparently has been prevalent in the Rangers clubhouse over the past month or so due to a stomach virus that has affected almost everyone on the team. No, I’m talking about the cookies discussed in the fourth inning of every televised Rangers game. 

Cookies. Cookies! Cookies!! Cookies!!!

It has become a tradition on Rangers telecasts for color analyst and Rangers Hall of Fame member Tom Grieve to thank the various fans who drop off cookies and treats that are shared with the entire contingent in the press box at Rangers home games. The media eats it up, so to speak, and the fans must too, because they keep bringing them and Grieve accommodates by thanking them, each and every one.

The problem is, now that the Rangers are 2-time AL Champions, attendance at the ballpark has gone up (20 sell-outs on the season thus far). Higher attendance means more people bringing cookies, to the point it takes almost the entire fourth inning, top and bottom, to get through the list of treat providers.

This doesn’t sit well with the viewers who just want to watch the game. It isn’t the experience of watching the game that’s important, it’s the game itself. And when the Rangers have runners on second and third with nobody out in a scoreless tie, why it’s just unfathomable that Grieve would continue the cookie talk at such a crucial junction of the game!

While I agree that maybe needing six outs to thank so many people means the cookie thing is getting close to a breaking point, I’d like to point out to Rangers fans that the broadcasters we watch on a regular basis don’t have a monopoly on features that bug a hefty percentage of their viewers.

After talking with some of my fellow Baseball Bloggers Alliance members, here are some of their “Cookie Talk” equivalents:

Michael Clair at Old Time Family Baseball tells me the Twins have a “Circle Me Bert” tradition, where fans make fools of themselves to try to get Bert Blyleven to circle them on his telestrator.

Michael Lynch over at Seamheads says the big thing on Seattle Mariners’ broadcasts has to do with fans getting “Rally Fries” from color analyst Mike Blowers. Here’s his take: “Allegedly he started doing this in 2007 when a fan dropped his fries while trying to catch a fly ball.  Blowers bought the guy new fries, causing other fans to start bringing signs to the games asking if they could get fries too.  Apparently the Mariners had a habit of rallying after the fries were delivered, hence the name “Rally Fries.”

Food is a favorite subject on Yankees TV games, according to William Tasker at Flagrant Fan. Tasker says play-by-play man Michael Kay not only loves to talk about what Paul O’Neill is eating when O’Neill is the color guy, he also delves into the fruit John Flaherty is eating and the triathlons he’s competing in when Flaherty is the analyst.  

Here’s a taste of Detroit Tigers games, courtesy of Jennifer Cosey at Old English D: “I am a serious fan of the Tigers, and our broadcast team is Rod Allen and Mario Impemba.  There is a Rod Allen drinking game that hinges on certain catch phrases used ad nauseam, such as:

when Rod calls a pitch a “slide piece” or “change piece”

When a player does something good and Rod says “I see you ______!”